Thursday 20 March 2014

Norbert Ajaegbu on romance: I initially felt inferior to my wife

“Its easy to fall in love, but it is special to stay in love”.’ This is what Nobert Ajeagbu, Chairman, Lagos State chapter of Film and Video Producers and Marketers Association of Nigeria, FVPMAN,and his wife, Rosemary, seem to be saying, as they relive memories of their journey into marriage. The couple got married about eleven years ago and they are blessed with four kids. The husband spoke first.

How I met my wife
 I met my wife at the Federal Polytechnic, Oko, Anambra State, while we were studying accountancy. That was way back in the late 90s. Then we weren’t dating but we got to know more about each other in church. As a result, we became familiar with each other, and during our Youth Service, in Lagos, we started dating. My friend It was a case of getting married to my best friend. When we met, there were some coincidences. We didn’t know we shared the same birthday. It was when she paid me a visit that I told her I was celebrating my birthday and she said she was born on the same day. We also share other attributes; while she’s on the quiet side, I’m not the stubborn type either. We have been married for eleven years now, and we never had any cause to quarrel for one day.
Strength
 It lies on our ability to tell ourselves the truth. Like the saying goes, to your friend, you don’t need to give an explanation because he or she will definitely understand you without offering any explanation. But to someone who is not your friend, even when you offer explanation, the person wouldn’t understand. My wife tends to understand everything about me, just as I understand everything about her. We are open to each other.
Attraction
She is a woman of many parts; I saw in her a partner whom I would spent the rest of my life with. Essentially, I love her unique voice, especially when she’s singing. She’s planning to launch her maiden gospel songs in a few weeks from now. Also, her quietness, sense of honesty and carriage were some of the qualities that attracted me to her. Memorable moments
 It was the first day, she realised she was pregnant with our first son, Kabiri. That day, nothing else mattered to us. It was one of the happiest days we ever had since we got married. We stayed back home, shunned every engagement for that day to celebrate the pregnancy. Aside this, every other day in our lives have been blessed. I got to realise that I’m someone who is not attached to anybody, not even to my parents. But this time around, I can’t even stay away from my family for one week without being anxious to reunite with them. Just as she can’t exist without me. Every minute of our lives together is very precious.
Accepting proposal 
It wasn’t really easy because I had nothing then. When I got to know her, I was thinking that my elder cousin would get married to her. She was always coming to visit me in our house then, though we were not dating. At that time, my cousin, who is now late, was ripe for marriage, but I was not. Then, I was feeling inferior to her because I had nothing. But later, I summoned courage to approach her, and that was when we started dating. On the day I proposed to her, I bought an engagement ring for her with the last Kobo in my pocket. It was about N1,200, which was all my savings. Ironically, on that D-day, she would have turned down my proposal because she thought I was not ready for marriage yet. She told me she was prepared to wait for me even if it would take me another 30 years before to make it in life. I replied her, ‘If you said you would be prepared to wait for me, then accept my engagement ring’. Shortly after that. I had my breakthrough; within one year, I was swimming in wealth. All these things happened in 2001; in 2002, we got married. Memorable courtship 
The experience I had during our courtship was encouraging. It was the time we were trying to understand each other. Then, I was coming up with complaints here and there, but she is the type that rarely complains. I like keeping friends and, most times, she would get jealous. But the moment we got married, those things stopped. It was not easy, but at that point, I realised I could not afford to lose her to any other man.
What I cannot do 

There is nothing I cannot do for my wife. We are one. It’s just like asking me what I cannot do for myself. I can live my life for her, and I can as well die for her. Except God, I don’t think I have any other idol. What I don’t like It is not as if one is perfect. But one thing I don’t like about her is the fact that she loves staying on her own. She is not a good mixer, I love companionship a lot, gisting and sharing experiences with people. But she’s an introvert.

I can lay down my life for him because I trust him — Wife 

Why I fell in love 
 I fell in love with my husband because of his charming looks, gentle nature and his kind heart. What I cannot do The fact that he is my husband, I will do everything for him. But the only thing I cannot do for him is something that is considered to be ‘sin’ and ‘evil’ before God and man. I trust my husband in such a way that I can lay down my life for him. What kept marriage going The love that we have for each other; the maturity and the openness are some of the ingredients that have kept our marriage going. We share our problems and happiness together. I haven’t hurt my husband even for once since we got married. And I am not prepared to hurt him until death do us apart. What I don’t like I love this man very much that I can’t find anything wrong in whatever he’s doing. I like everything about him.

No comments:

Post a Comment